things i watch

Things to Watch - Jan 12

2008-01-12T12:48:00.000-05:00

Football! Or...movies, movies, movies.

8:00 - CBS - NFL AFC Divisional Playoff: Jaguars at Patriots
8:00 - ABC - Pearl Harbor
9:00 - FOX - NEW America's Most Wanted
8:00 - HBO - Norbit
7:00 - TNT - Titanic
8:00 - A&E - Die Hard with a Vengeance
9:00 - SciFi - Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
8:00 - AMC - Hunt for Red October
8:00 - Vh1 - High Fidelity
8:00 - Encore - The Rock
8:00 - EncDrama - The Cider House Rules
8:00 - TCM - Bridge on the River Kwai
8:00 - FLIX - Blown Away
8:00 - HBOCom - Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny
8:00 - Showtime - Clerks II

What I'm TiVo-ing:
I will of course be watching the Patriots game.

Things to Watch - Jan 11

2008-01-11T18:44:00.000-05:00

8:00 - CBS - NEW epsidoes of Ghost Whisperer, Moonlight, and and Numb3rs
10:00 - ABC - NEW 20/20
8:00 - NBC - NEW episodes of 1 vs. 100, Friday Night Lights, and Las Vegas
8:00 - CW - WWE Friday Night SmackDown
9:00 - HBO - Snakes on a Plane
8:00 - SciFi - NEW Flash Gordon and at 10:00 a NEW Stargate Atlantis
10:00 - Discovery - NEW Fight Quest
9:00 - USA - NEW Monk and Psych
10:00 - E! - NEW The Soup
8:00 - Showtime - Lucky Number Sleven

What I'm TiVo-ing:
Not of a fan of much on tonight, but I'll be recording The Soup, and maybe watching 1 vs. 100.

30 Rock - "Episode 210"

2008-01-11T00:55:00.000-05:00

What a send-off into the writers' strike. This episode of 30 Rock (Episode 210 as it will forever be known) was the last to be produced before the writers went on strike. Now that The Office is done, as well as 30 Rock, the two funniest shows on television are on indefinite hiatus. That leaves, like, American Gladiators as the reigning funniest show on TV.

I have to confess: A little more than a month ago I had never seen an episode of 30 Rock. So I went back and watched all of them. In like a week. And I quickly realized why this show had been getting so much praise.

I watched this episode with someone who also had never seen an episode of 30 Rock before, and I don't think this episode was very indicative of just how funny it is. The impression that they came away with was, "What a weird show."

And that's the feeling I got for this episode. Weird. It just seemed a little more off-the-wall than usual. It was really funny, don't get me wrong, but just a little over the top. Especially with the surreal musical number ending.

Jack is meeting with German TV executives while Lemon and Jack's girlfriend C.C. wait for their appointment to see him. Yes, C.C. makes appointments to see Jack. Lemon is his "11 o'clock" and C.C. is his "11:10."

Liz wants to grow up and do something with her money, so Jack and Jenna advise her to invest in Real Estate. Jenna apparently bought up a bunch of land in New Orleans' Ninth Ward after Katrina and is now leasing it to the gov't for a prison. (You know, that actually isn't that bad of an idea!)

Liz puts an offer down for a nice apartment, but has to meet with the co-op board first. In an extended metaphor, the co-op board acts as a way for Liz to remind herself of how terrible she is at dating, as she has to try to convince them why she is right for them. In a very awwwk-ward interview, she wears a very revealing dress and makes a complete fool out of herself. ("We have a lot of things in common...um, we're all white!") Liz then goes on to get drunk on Reds and Whites and drunk-dial the co-op board. She leaves like 20 even-more embarassing voice-mails with the board ("I've moved on...I bought a whole bunch of apartments. I bought a black apartment.)

Meanwhile, Jack and C.C. are having to deal with their long-distance relationship. They decide they have to meet halfway on things, and so Jack has C.C. meet him at the literal half-way point: a hick mining town in Pennsylvania which is the exact distance from their offices in NY and DC. While they are meeting, C.C. accidentally misses a congressional vote on legalizing whale-torture (it passed by one vote!) and Jack had to put Lemon in charge of meeting the with German TV executives of the channel NBC wanted to buy. Liz mixed up her German words for "buy" and "sell" and sold NBC to zee germans instead. Oops! Jack and C.C. decide their careers are more important than their relationship. With Liz upset at her own apartment misfortune and Jack upset at his, they realize together that they really can't have it all in life, in a moment of deeper introspective commentary.

Back at 30 Rock, Tracy Jordan got Kenneth hooked on coffee, who doesn't drink hot liquids because its the devil's temperature. He spent the whole episode whacked on caffeine and it was pretty un-funny generally. He decides to leave NY because he let his mom down: "I've become one of them. I've been Sodomized!"

Gladys Knight happened to be the guest on TGS that night, and so for no other reason than that, the entire cast of 30 Rock inexplicably broke into an extended spontaneous song and dance to the tune of Knight's "Midnight Train to Georgia." It was all very-surreal and kind of unlike 30 Rock, but it was enjoyable. And Kenneth missed his midnight train to Georgia because he misread the schedule.

Interestingly enough, the writing staff of TGS didn't appear once in this episode. Hmm...

God, I'm going to miss this show...

Celebrity Apprentice - Week 2

2008-01-10T23:05:00.000-05:00

Episode 2: In which Gene Simmons is an asshole.

Celebrity Apprentice is not the best show on television. Its not going to win any awards, or garner huge ratings. But, during trying times such as these, we make lemonade with lemons, or something like that.

At about 9:30, my friend watching the show with me turned to me and said, "It's only 9:30? I feel like I've been watching this forever." And so it was that this episode was pretty boring. But not entirely uneventful.

As The Apprentice relies on sponsorship and product placement to survive, this week featured both a Macy's executive and a Pedigree dog food executive to tell the teams they needed to make a commercial about adopting dogs. Trump asked the contestants who likes dogs and Lennox Lewis and Tito Ortiz raised their hands. Trump was like oh I bet you like big dogs or something and Lewis was like no, I like cats.

THE Gene Simmons and Telemundo exec Nely Galán were chosen as the Project Managers. Nely's team met with the Pedigree exec to hear exactly want he wanted. He told them exactly what he wanted and then they proceeded to ignore it.

Gene Simmons and Hydra chose not to meet the exec and went right to the studio to record the commercial. Simmons made Stephen "20 Years of TV Experience" Baldwin the director of the commercial, essentially making him the project manager. During filming, Miss Ivanka Trump came in to check up on Team Simmons. Instead of stopping what they were doing and paying attention to the person who would ultimately wind up having a say in firing them, Simmons told her she would have to wait until they had time to deal with her. Then when they did finally talk to her about their commercial, Simmons said something condescending to Ivanka along the lines of "Being a member of the female sexuality I of course expect you won't go and tell the members of your sisterhood about what we are doing here." He really is a pig. I'm surprised Father Trump didn't fire him right there for talking to his daughter like that.

The women's team did some bickering, and messed up stuff. Their idea was to have talking dogs telling stories instead of, you know, the "celebrities" that they are telling the stories. They also decided to only use the voice of one of the most famous supermodels of all time, instead of putting her on screen.

The men sort of clicked under the direction of Orson Baldwin. Gene Simmons told everyone on the team that only he and Baldwin were allowed in the editing room, because everyone else was worthless. While editing, the rest of the team had the AUDACITY to barge into the editing room and see the commercial that they would ultimately be fired for. Gene Simmons put them in their place and sent them out of the room. How you tell UFC Champion Tito Ortiz and Lennox Lewis to get out is beyond me, I guess Simmons is more powerful than I realize.

During the presentation, the Pedigree exec confronted Simmons about why he didn't meet with them. Best scene of the show: Gene Simmons tells the exec that a great writer "Son Shoe" (He was trying for Sun Tzu) said something in The Art of War about how the battle is fought on the battlefield not in the boardroom or something I dunno. Piers Morgan corrected his pronunciation of Sun Tzu and Simmons was like "Oh I was using the more traditional Mandarin." It was Hilariously awkward.

The men actually made a decent commercial, showing a bulldog playing around with a ball and then in a kennel. Trace Adkins' "voice of God" provided the voiceover talking about like the heart of champion or something and then they pulled back to show Lennox Lewis holding this bulldog puppy and grinning from ear to ear. It was actually heartwarming.

In the boardroom, Trump made Simmons half-heartedly apologize for offending his daughter and didn't seem nearly upset as I thought. He wound up firing Gymnast Nadia Comaneci for not having the heart of a winner or something businessey sounding like that. The apprentice is getting really predictable and dull, and this episode was a prime example.

However, Jennie Finch is still on the show. And while this is like the second episode in a row she literally didn't open her mouth, she still looked amazing, and thus I will keep watching Celebrity Apprentice.

Things to Watch - Jan 10

2008-01-10T16:53:00.000-05:00

9:00 - CBS - NEW episodes CSI and Without A Trace
8:00 - ABC - NEW episodes of Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, and Big Shots
8:00 - FOX - NEW episodes of Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader and Don't Forget the Lyrics!
8:00 - NBC - NEW episodes of My Name Is Earl, 30 Rock, Celebrity Apprentice, and ER
10:00 - VH1 - Premiere Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew
10:00 - BRAVO - Premiere Make Me A Supermodel
9:00 - FOXNEWS - LIVE Republican Presidential Debate
10:00 - A&E - NEW The First 48
10:00 - MTV - NEW Run's House

What I'm TiVo-ing:
Tonight I will be watching Grey's Anatomy, 30 Rock, Celebrity Apprentice, Celebrity Rehab, and the Republican Presidential Debate.

The Wire - 4 Seasons in 4 minutes

2008-01-09T21:52:00.000-05:00

Well, I've done a lot of raving about how amazing the wire is, and why you should watch it. (You should. If you didn't, shame on you.) The problem however, is that its one hell of a complicated plot, and now we're already in our 5th and final season! So you're probably like, yeah Ryan I'd love to watch this but I have no idea what the hell is going on.

Enter this video: The first 4 seasons of The Wire summarized in 4 and a half minutes. I really don't think this will be of tremendous help to anyone, but its kind of funny.

Thing to Watch - Jan 9

2008-01-09T16:53:00.000-05:00

8:00 - CBS - NEW Power of 10 followed by a NEW Criminal Minds and CSI: NY
10:00 - TBS - NEW Tyler Perry's House of Payne
8:00 - ABC - NEW Wife Swap followed by a NEW Supernanny and a NEW Cashmere Mafia
8:00 - NBC - NEW Deal or No Deal followed by a NEW Law & Order at 10:00
8:00 - CW - NEW Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants followed by a NEW Gossip Girl
8:00 - PBS - NEW Pioneers of Television followed by The Jewish Americans
10:00 - Bravo - NEW Project Runway
8:00 - SciFi - NEW Ghost Hunters all night

8:00 - Encore - Step Up
8:00 - EncDrama - Rent
8:00 - HBOComedy - The Science of Sleep

What I'm TiVo-ing:
Tonight I'll be recording/watching Crowned and Gossip Girl, and Project Runway at 10. Wife Swap is usually always entertaining too.

The Mole is returning!

2008-01-08T23:58:00.000-05:00

The good people over at TVSquad alerted the world (well, me) to the fantastic news today that ABC's The Mole will return to Television after a 4 year hiatus. This is the most exciting television news I have heard in a long time. This was like, the best game show on television in its day. No news on whether Anderson Cooper will return to host the show or not, as he did awesomely back then. (He's a serious news type guy now you know.)

This show was so good. It was like an intelligent version of The Amazing Race, and they would always have locations in these awesome old castles and and dungeons. You'd spend the whole season trying to figure out who the mole was and they would totally blow your mind when they revealed the real mole, because they so brilliantly disguised it. The first two seasons were great, then they went and pulled an Apprentice and did 2 seasons of celebrity Mole, which really was not that great. I think i'm going to try to get my hands on the first 2 seasons and DL it or something in honor of this great news.

The show will return with 10 episodes sometime in the summer according to Variety:

ABC has given a 10-episode order to Stone & Co. Entertainment ("Tim Gunn's Guide to Style") to revive the reality competish, which hasn't aired in four years.
Casting and pre-production have begun on the show, which will likely start shooting later this spring. ABC is looking to run "The Mole" this summer.
"This is a show we honestly love and people ask us about all the time," said ABC Entertainment alternative series senior VP John Saade, who added that plans were afoot to dig out "The Mole" even before the writers' strike.
"We were looking to bring the show back even when the writers were working," he said.

Things to Watch - Jan 8

2008-01-08T12:15:00.000-05:00

9:00 - CBS - Live People's Choice Awards
8:00 - ABC - NEW Just for Laughs, followed by a NEW According to Jim and Carpoolers
8:00 - NBC - NEW The Biggest Loser: Couples, and a NEW Law & Order: SVU
8:00 - CW - Premiere 2 Hours of One Tree Hill
10:00 - A&E - Premiere Parking Wars: Philadelphia
9:00 - Discovery - NEW Dirty Jobs followed by a NEW Some Assembly Required
10:00 - MTV - Premieres of Life of Ryan and Rob & Big
10:00 - Bravo - NEW The Real Housewives of Orange Country
9:00 - TLC - NEW London Ink followed by NEW LA Ink

What I'm TiVo-ing:
Not much of interest to me on TV tonight. I think i'll record Law & Order: SVU and watch the premiere of the new A&E series, Parking Wars. Its a new reality show that follows the Philadelphia Parking Authority around as they give tickets to people and boot their cars.

The Wire - S5E1 - More With Less

2008-01-08T00:22:00.000-05:00

6 years ago, I watched the series premiere of this little show on HBO. Back then, I didn't know what I was getting into. For me, it was just another cop show with lots of cursing and occasional nudity. I classed it up there as a slightly higher quality Law & Order, Homicide, or NYPD Blue. Little did I know that 6 years and 5 seasons later, this show would effect me more than any other book, movie or TV show I have seen. And now, in its 5th season, The Wire takes on something very personal to me, the city newspaper.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have worked for my college newspaper for the last 3 years, The Daily Pennsylvanian. Not to toot our own horn, but we are a good newspaper, and a large newspaper. For a year, I have spent 10 hours a night, 5 nights a week in a windowless office, for the sake of journalism. And for the most part, I enjoyed it. That job has taken me on visits to the newsrooms of such papers as The Philadelphia Inquirer, and The Baltimore Sun, in which parts of this season of The Wire are actually filmed. I have been in the same room, in the figurative and very literal sense, as the fictional City News Editor Gus Haynes in this episode. And, if it weren't for the shitty pay and dismal job prospects, I would probably be considering a career in journalism right now. (But, and somewhat paradoxically, The Wire may have inspired me into a life of city government, despite the many frustrations portrayed. Hey, maybe I can make a difference). So it is with an interested and critical eye that I watch this season, and know that if anyone can get it right, its David Simon and The Wire.

And, if the first episode is any indication, they will get it right. Perhaps just a little too right.

Season 4 of this show was a hard act to follow. It was probably the most perfect season of a TV show that has ever been on television, so understandably, there are a lot of expectations going into this year. And for many people, the Newspaper Newsroom isn't exactly the most riveting setting, (I personally couldn't think of anything more interesting) so there is a lot of room for a letdown.

The thing about The Wire is that the universe is so immersing, that you really feel yourself being pulled into it. It is an act of escapism that somehow manages to pull you into a world you don't want to be in. In only 15 minutes, I felt my living room melting away as I reconnected with the characters that I know so intimately (yeah, not in that way.) And after 4 seasons, we really do know these characters well. Character development is probably the Wire's finest ability.

And so we quickly jump back into the worlds we've come to know and love, City Hall, The Streets, and The Western district Police Department. The season opens on a comical note, with a bad-ass Bunk interviewing a dimwitted suspect, and giving him a lie detector test by duct taping his hand to a copy machine and printing out pages that say true and false. He gets his confession. Mayer Carcetti is facing a budget crisis, and the Police Department is feeling the effects. Cops aren't being paid overtime, squad cars are in disarray, etc. Major Crimes still hasn't made progress investigating Marlo Stanfield and the murder of like 22 people found in boarded up homes from last season. Ice-cold Marlo just is too good of a criminal. Major Crimes eventually gets shut down due to the budget cuts. Our old friend McNulty is drinking and womanizing again. Dukie is unfortunately involved in the drug trade, looking over Michael's corner, who's now a full fledged member of Marlo's crew. Bubbles is clean, and working selling The Baltimore Sun to cars on the street.

And then, speaking of newspapers, we find ourselves in The Baltimore Sun newsroom, with characters we have never met before. Not many shows would dare introduce and entire new cast of characters in the 5th and final season, but The Wire has been able to do it successfully thus far in other seasons. It remains to be seen how successful they will be this year, but so far, the newsroom scenes were both my favorite and my least favorite.

We first meet the Sun staffers smoking in a loading dock, discussing how everyone is getting fired in Philadelphia and old timers are being laid off and the future is grim and how they "wished they worked at a real newspaper." These are the same lines you will hear in newsrooms across America, as more and more hard working people are being laid off or given more responsibility for the same pay. Newspapers are folding, there isn't enough money for anything, and everyone is just trying to keep their own job. Its no different than the Baltimore Police Department that Simon has portrayed so well. Same story, different faces.

We then meet City Editor Gus Haynes (Played by Wire writer/director Clark Johnson), who despite low morale, manages to keep a good attitude, trying to make a difference through hard work and good old fashioned reporting. He believes in the institution of the newspaper. He is the prototypical lifetime newspaper man. The old timer who still believes. Then there's the typical hard-ass managing editor, who likes to hire young journalism majors who have pretty legs, and spits out the line that sums up today's newspaper paradox "You'll just have to do more with less." There's also the ambitious young reporter, always looking for a story, hoping he'll make it to the Times or Post one day. The conspicuously empty newsroom (yes, they are really that depressingly empty these days) is smattered with other walking newspaper clichés like the old grey-haired grammar expert. They also throw a bunch of newspaper jargon at the viewer, like lede, above-the-fold, budget lines, and more. And here is where I begin to worry about this year's The Wire.

I have to be careful not to plagiarize from Slate.com here, because they pretty much summed up my feeling perfectly in THIS article. Basically, because I'm so familiar with the newspaper world, the whole newsroom aspect came off a little trite, as Slate put it. David Simon worked in the Baltimore Sun newsroom for many years as a crime beat reporter. He knows the real deal inside out, and he has a lot to say about his career in journalism. The wire is now his sounding board, and well, I think he got it a little TOO right. The characters came off a little too defined and inflexible, and universally real. Sure its only the first episode, but there's only 9 episodes left to flesh these characters out. I don't see them becoming fully developed beyond their newsroom clichés. And again, as Slate says, I'm not a drug dealer, or a politician, or an educator, or a dock worker, so the first 4 seasons I was an outsider. These worlds were new to me, and I was loving learning all about them.

Now, I of course am far from a professional journalist, but I know enough to consider myself an insider. For instance, there were a few brilliant newsroom scenes that had me cracking up that I think really only anyone who has ever spent time in a newsroom could really appreciate. A reporter writes that "people were evacuated." Editor Haynes yells that you can't evacuate people. This would mean you "gave them an enema." (The building is evacuated, not people.) This kind of conversation happens. All the time. And we find it hilarious.

There's another scene where Haynes is looking over the photos of a building fire. There's a picture with a burned doll in it. "Another fucking burnt doll?" he exclaims. "Every fire photo he brings in there's a burnt doll in the debris. I can see that cheap motherfucker now with his fucking dolls pouring lighter fluid on each one. You check his trunk you'll find a whole collection!" I laughed out loud at this, but if only it weren't so true. (As usual in newsrooms, Photo seemed to take the brunt of the blame for f-ups.)

Anyway, enough of my J-dork rants. I'd be curious to see what those of you not familiar with the newsroom world felt about this episode. Were the newsroom scenes too foreign to you? Or did the characters seem as cliché as I found them?

This episode was still the best hour of television I've seen since the season 4 finale, and I sure we have a lot to look forward to this season.

Official Episode Site - HBO

Also, the Atlantic Monthly has an awesome article abut David Simon by Mark Bowden. If you are a fan of the wire, you should read this article HERE.

Things to Watch - Jan 7

2008-01-07T18:32:00.000-05:00

Colbert and Stewart are back!!

8:00 - ABC - NEW Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann followed by NEW October Road
8:00 - FOX - LIVE College Football: BCS Championship Game - LSU vs Ohio State
8:00 - NBC - NEW American Gladiators followed by NEW Deal or No Deal followed by NEW Medium
8:00 - ESPN - SportsCenter Special for 3 hours - not sure what this is about

9:00 - A&E - NEW Intervention followed by NEW Paranormal State
10:00 - Travel - NEW Season Premiere No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain
10:00 - MTV - NEW Made: I want to be a Boxer
8:00 - VH1 - NEW The Critics Choice Awards
9:00 - TLC - NEW Jon & Kate Plus 8

8:00 - HBO - Premiere The Last King of Scotland
9:00 - HBO3 - Premiere Fast Food Nation

11:00 - Comedy - NEW Daily Show with John Stewart and NEW The Colbert Report return to the airwaves

What I'm TiVo-ing:
Tonight I will be watching another American Gladiators, and the BCS Championship Game, as well as No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain. I'm recording Fast Food Nation as well. And of course i'll be waching Colbert and Stewart.

American Gladiators

2008-01-06T23:18:00.000-05:00

Dear Writers: Please come back. We need you.

2 months into the Writers Guild strike and this is what television has come to: A remake of American Gladiators. When it went off the air like 13 years ago I never thought I'd live to see the day it came back. This is the show I grew up with. I grew up playing Assault in my basement (much to my Mom's dismay) with rolled up socks, overturned furniture, and every Nerf toy and accessory I had to my name. We played Powerball in gym class. And now, after many long years, its back. And on NBC Primetime nonetheless. Talk about desperate for programming.

NBC's version was, how do I say, amazingly awesomely bad. It was one of those "it was so bad it was good" deals. Now, Gladiators is engrained in my memory. I still watch the old version on ESPN Classic on a regular basis. Watching NBC's version tonight was like watching a bad house band cover one of your favorite singers greatest hits: it was familiar, and you could sing along, yet there was something really off about it. That said, I will be tuning in tomorrow night.

It was weird. With Hulk Hogan as the host, it almost had a WWE quality to it from the outset. Fake in many ways, yet still trying to be authentic. The events were real, people really got injured, and yet I couldn't help feeling that the whole show was scripted, or rehearsed. Every contestant had prepared one-liners and never stammered for words. The Gladiators had their catch phrases well prepared. All of the dialogue was totally cringe-inducing.

The first contestant's human-interest story included something about a divorce, and then having to sell toilet paper. Then she went and got herself hurt in the very first event of the new Gladiators. Ouch...God can really pile it on. At least she had a positive attitude about being out of the competition: "There's always next season." Sorry honey, no there isn't.

The other contestants came from varied walks of life. One guy had gotten the call to try out back for the original version, but missed his tryout due to a traffic jam. They really played that up. He talked a lot of trash during the show, but wound up crying his eyes out at the end. I hate men that cry.

There was also a tiny Asian nerd who was more ripped than I will ever hope to be in my life. Full of energy, but his one liner's weren't quite as polished. Staying in the Asian demographic, there were also a doctor who provided us with the quote of the night: "Just like I did in med school, i'm going straight to the top!" The only thing that could have saved this show's dialogue was if it in fact happened to be dubbed to English from Japanese.

Also, what's with the fat-ass referee? He was like the most unfit person in the whole arena. He was also an a-hole. His shining moment though came when he yelled at some dude for "Giving him the business!"

In one of the most painfully lame aspects of the show, whenever a contestant fell into the water, they would play a lame version of songs like "Another one bites the dust" and "Hey Hey Hey Goodbye" while the crowd sang along unenthusiastically and gave the thumbs down sign (harkening back to true Roman Gladiatorial tradition I'm sure. At least this show knows where its roots lie.) Meanwhile, everyone in the crowd had posters that looked exactly the same, so i'm sure they handed them out at the door. (Taking a further lesson from WWE).

As for the Gladiators, they are hit and miss:
Crush is hot. I mean, really hot. Like, the hottest Gladiator they've ever had. Worth watching it for her.
My roommate would argue that Hellga, however, is the hottest. Hellga, the viking-esque 6'1" 200lb brings a world of hurt, although she didn't do so well in her events.
Wolf is the scariest sonofabitch i've ever seen. Someone needs to tell this guy it is just a show. He howls a lot, like you would expect a man named wolf to do. The man looks like "he hasn't had a shower since he was pulled out of his cave" according to one contestant.

Justice, who "Serves up Justice" is like 7' tall and weighs 300lbs. This dude is sca-ry. I think his only event was shooting tennis balls in Assault, because, as my friend pointed out, were he to actually hit someone he may just actually cause their death.

Fury seemed to be pretty skilled, and one of the best all around Gladiators. NBC claims that "Hell hath no fury like....Fury." Yes, the writers are on strike. She has this "signature move" on Hang-Tough were she like wraps her legs around your waist and hangs upside down. Very hot. According to the announcer, she was using "her Gladiator experience." Yes, because this isn't the first episode or anything.

Toa is like some stereotypical tattooed tribal Maori warrior dude, who seemed sort of authentic, right down to his corny but yet kind of intimidating tribal yells.

One thing that watching the new Gladiators reminds one of is just how lame the actual events were/are. The old favorites were back: Powerball, Joust, The Wall, The Gauntlet, and Assault, among others. They remained surprising unchanged in the "don't mess with a good thing" fashion I suppose. The new events were surprisingly unimaginative. There was Earthquake, which was just wrestling on a tilting platform. Hit and Run, which was dodging large balls while running across a bridge. And Pyramid, in which contestants had to run up a stack of pads, in what is surely the lamest gladiator event ever. I don't think anyone will ever win this one, although there was a lot of sexy groping and rolling involving Crush.

The Eliminator is revamped, and is the best improvement of the show. Unlike the very un-challenging Eliminator of the past, that eliminated no one, this version was a total ass-kicker. Some people couldn't even finish - they lay in agony at the foot of the "Travelator" treadmill. It left a Marine bloodied as she fell into the water. (Quoth the commentator: "That Marine just joined the Navy!" ...never mind the fact that Marines ARE in the Navy.)

The old American Gladiators tread the line carefully between awesomeness and stupidness, but it felt real. There was real heart behind it. This version leaned more towards the spectacle. It was primetime shiny-ness and fakeness, almost like watching the WWE. Despite the shows downfalls, American Gladiators will always find a place on my television, and I will be tuning in tomorrow, for a ridiculous 3rd hour of its premiere.

New York Times' Oscar Section

2008-01-06T22:34:00.000-05:00

Just a heads up that in today's (Sunday's) New York Times, there is an awesome entire section devoted to the Times' critics' picks for the Oscar's. The whole section is of course available online here:

The Oscars - New York Times

The three main articles are about Zodiac, Into the Wild, and Across the Universe. They have a profile of Keira Knightley and George Clooney, an article about how the writers' strike affects the Oscars, and there are some script excerpts. Ther's also articles about the sound in No Country for Old Men, editing, and set building. There's also a pretty cool full page graphic on the Times critics' nominees for each category:

Click for full size:

Why You Should Watch "The Wire"

2008-01-06T14:25:00.000-05:00

The most critically acclaimed show in the history of television makes it triumphant return to HBO tonight for its Fifth and Final masterful season, inside the Newsroom of the Baltimore Sun. David Simon's The Wire has pretty much unanimously been deemed the greatest show ever to be broadcast in the history of American TV. It has racked up Emmys, NAACP Image Awards, Critics awards, and even Peabodys. There really is not much more praise that can given or more that can be said about The Wire. There just is nothing like it. And yet, nobody watches it. David Simon has had to continually beg HBO for another season year after year, justifying why HBO should spend money on a poorly rated show. Ultimately, the need to tell this story as brilliantly as The Wire does, as well as the critical acclaim, won out, and HBO has finally pushed through the final season of David Simon's arc.

For those not familiar with the greatest show of all time, The Wire is the story of Urban Baltimore. The first season examined the street level drug trade. The second season examined crime at the Baltimore harbor docks. The third season explored Policing and what would happen if drugs were essentially "legalized" in a certain part of Baltimore. The fourth and most powerful season to date followed four middle school kids as they dealt with the struggles of inner-city life. It has been described as Dickensian in its scope, incorporating countless characters, plot-lines, and settings. It ranges the entire social class, examining how the Mayor and Police Commissioner, and suburban fund-raisers affect the lives of corner drug runners, junkies, and welfare mothers. The San Francisco Chronicle has said The Wire "has tackled the drug war in this country as it simultaneously explores race, poverty and 'the death of the American working class,' the failure of political systems to help the people they serve and the tyranny of lost hope. Few series in the history of television have explored the plight of inner-city...and none — not one — has done it as well."

This complexity and beautiful intricacy only contributes however to the lack of ratings, as many are scared away by coming late to the game. I'm here to ask you to watch this season. You won't regret it. While you won't be 100% up to speed on some of the story lines, each season has its value as a self contained set of episodes, introducing completely new characters and storylines that you can follow from the very beginning. You'll begin to catch on to the greater themes and stories as the season progresses. This season is all about the media, and why we aren't paying attention to inner-city problems. The majority of the season will take place inside The Baltimore Sun, where Wire creator and producer David Simon, as well as many other cast members, have actually spent a lot time working as journalists. This is their newspaper, this is their city, and this is their story. As a self-proclaimed newspaper junkie myself, I'm thrilled The Wire will take aim at the newspaper business. I will let David Simon explain this season in his own words from a Slate.com interview, and much more, after the jump:

"The last theme is basically asking the question, why aren't we paying attention? If we got everything right in the last four seasons in depicting this city-state, how is it that these problems—which have been attendant problems regardless of who is in power—how is it that they endure? That brings into mind one last institution, which is the media. What are we paying attention to? What are we telling ourselves about ourselves? A lot of people think that we're going to impale journalists. No. It's not quite that. What stories do we want to hear? How closely do they relate to truth; how distant are they from the truth? We have a story idea about media and consumers of media. What stories get told and what don't and why it is that things stay the same.

What's happened to the Baltimore Sun locally is what has happened to that whole second tier of journalism—below the New York Times and the Washington Post: They're being eviscerated by price per share. There used to be 500 reporters; now there are 300. They keep telling us they can do the same job, they just need to be more effective. Bullshit. Five hundred reporters is 500; 300 is 300; you can't cover the city the same way with fewer people.

The low end of journalism is not what concerns me. It's not that sensational stuff I'm worried about. It's that there may be no high end anymore, that the kind of thing journalists once aspired to, especially in the Washington Post-Watergate era, may no longer exist."

Here is the Season 5 Trailer:

Here's a link to the Baltimore Sun's coverage of The Wire premiere (its so meta!)
Official Site

Please give this show a chance. You'll thank yourself. Look for my review after the show.

Things to Watch - Jan 6

2008-01-06T13:16:00.000-05:00

CBS - 8:30 NEW The Amazing Race followed by a NEW Cold Case
ABC - 8:00 NEW Extreme Makeover: Home Edition followed by a NEW Desperate Housewives followed by the series premiere of Cashmere Mafia
FOX - 8:00 NEW eposides of The Simpsons, King of the Hill, and American Dad
NBC - 8:00 NEW Deal or No Deal followed by the 2 Hour Premiere of American Gladiators
VH1 - 9:00 NEW I Love New York

HBO - 9:00 Season Premier of The Wire

What i'm TiVo-ing:
Tonight I'll be recording the Amazing Race and of course American Gladiators, but i'll also be watching the season premiere of The Wire, which I have been looking forward to more than any other show in history. The Wire is the best show on television, and it is finally back.

Rock band and Jim Cramer on Conan O'Brien

2008-01-05T14:54:00.000-05:00

The past few nights Late Night with Conan O'Brien has been hilarious. Here is a video of Conan annoying his staff while they play rock band.

This is a video of Jim Cramer, the host of CNBC's Mad Money, on Conan O'Brien last night. Jim Cramer is one of my favorite people. He's hilariously insane, and its not an act either. He's worth Hundreds of Millions of dollars, earned in investment banking and on stock market investments, but in this video he talks about his love of TGI Friday's and the Olive Garden. Hilarious. Skip ahead to about 4:20 for the secret to getting rich. (Hint: Its eating at the Olive Garden).

Things to Watch - Jan 5

2008-01-05T13:14:00.000-05:00

ABC - 7:00 - LIVE New Hampshire Republican and Democratic Presidential Debates
FOX - 9:00 - NEW America's Most Wanted
NBC - 8:00 - LIVE NFL Football: AFC Wild Card Jaguars at Steelers
PBS - 8:00 - The Magnificent Seven

HBO - 8:00 - TV Premiere We Are Marshall
A&E - 8:00 - US Marshals
AMC - 8:00 - Jurassic Park
BRAVO - 8:00 - Batman
BBCA - 10:00 - NEW The Graham Norton Show
INDIE - 9:00 - Trainspotting - my favorite movie

Cars

2008-01-05T00:11:00.000-05:00

The thing about Pixar movies is that they are always better than you expect. You think, kids movie eh? Not for me. Animated you say? No thanks. G rating? No way. And then you watch it, and you wind up with a smile on your face the whole time, laughing out loud at subtle references, homages, and hidden jokes, forgetting its even supposed to be a kids movie.

I know a 5 year-old who loves this movie. The idea of talking cars alone is enough to drive them wild. Plus this movie is awesome looking. Colorful, loud, shiney, almost photo-realistic. It really is one of the best looking Pixar movies out there.

Basically the movie is about a rookie racecar named Lightning McQueen who is cocky and full of himself. He gets stranded along Route 66 and meets a bunch of colorful and endearing cars of Radiator Springs, a town abandoned by the interstate that bypasses their town. He meets an old racing legend and gains a love interest (Sally), and learns about friends and humility etc and so forth. The movie is heartwarming and teaches the kids life lessons and such, but the best part about this movie comes from the stuff that is clearly for the adults.

For instance: I doubt that my little 5 year old friend caught such subtleties like George Carlin voicing the Volkswagon van, who pushes people to try some of his "organic blend gasoliiine, man" while high off of some himself. ("Duuuude, I swear every third blink of that light is totally slower. Am I the only one who is seeing this?") I don't think children would understand why its funny that Cheech Marin is the voice of an obnoxiously painted 1959 Impala lowrider, or get the sterotypes at work behind the Italian Fiat 500 Ferrari-loving tire experts voiced by Tony Shalhoub. (For me, they were the funniest part about this movie.)

Lost on such youngin's would be the history behind the name McQueen and the great car scenes from Bullitt the name evokes, as well as the storied past of the actual Fabulous Hudson Hornet of the early 50's. I doubt many children have encountered the ubiquitous group of Rice-Rockets (called the Delinquent Road Hazards here) that torment the road in their Nissans, Mitsubishis and Scions.

I'd like to think young kids won't understand the subtle innuendo when McQueen catches a glimpse of a pinstriped tattoo on the tail of Sally's back. (Tramp Stamp anyone?) My favorite reference however came in the form of Harv, McQueen's agent, voiced by Jeremy Piven and alluding to the character of Ari Gold from Entourage. (I don't know of many 5 year-olds who watch Entourage.)

And if you're not a racing fan at all (i'm not) you might even miss all the big name cameos by the likes of Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Darrell Waltrip and Mario Andretti, amongst others.

As always with Pixar movies, Cars is packed with jokes and references such as these that make it both a kid's movie and a grown-up's movie. The makers of this movie spent time on their own trip down Route 66 to soak up the atmosphere and warm feeling of a good road trip themselves. Each character is lovingly crafted and created, and yet this still winds up being just a very average Pixar movie, amongst the low end of all the Pixar movies made. While it is one of the best looking, the script lacks somewhat in the creativity and pure heart that we have come to love from Pixar, and often the stereotypes are overdone. The movie is also on the long side for a movie of its type, at 2 hours. Even an average Pixar movie is worth seeing though, and it will bring a smile to your face. I just hope this isn't a sign of things to come under the new Disney ownership of Pixar.

Be sure to stick around for the end credits, where the cars watch drive in movies parodied after other Pixar movies, with cars as the main characters. Its the funniest part of the movie.

"Cars" at Rotten Tomatoes - 76%
"Cars" at IMDB

Celebrity Apprentice

2008-01-04T14:23:00.000-05:00

The Apprentice is one of those shows that I get excited about watching no matter how good or bad it happens to be that season. I've seen every episode of Survivor, ever. I'm pretty sure I've also seen every episode of The Apprentice.

Which is why, when I heard this season's incarnation of The Donald's Apprentice was going to be celebritized - celebreality style - I was very excited. Then, when I found out that my favorite person in the world - 2004 US Olympic Gold Medal softball pitcher and 2003 ESPN Hottest Female Athlete - Jenny Finch, was going to be a contestant, I started a calendar style countdown.

The countdown came to an end last night with the season premiere of the 7th season of the Apprentice on NBC. Despite plummeting ratings and viewers, and even a cancellation along the way, this season still went ahead as planned, and I'm probably one of the few people that is thrilled about it. Instead of getting a job in Trump Org., the winner will get to donate a lot of money to charity or something, despite the fact that they have a shitload of money on their own and can donate a lot to it anyway. Alas, the show was getting pretty boring and formulaic, so the celebrity aspect was certainly a welcome change. Rounding out the all-star celebrity cast after the jump:

Women's team "Empresario" -
Tiffany Fallon - Former Miss Georgia and 2005 Playboy Playmate of the year
Carol Alt - one of the first supermodels, now like 70 years old or something
Nadia Comaneci - 5 time Olympic Gymnastics Gold Medalist
Nely Galan - Telemundo TV executive and Entrepreneur and token Latina.
Marilu Henner - Author and former TV star of Taxi
Omarosa - Famous for being on "The Apprentice" and being hated by everyone

Men's team "Hydra" -
Trace Adkins - Country Music Star
Stephen Baldwin - Actor and born-again evangelical missionary/converter/preacher/etc.
Lennox Lewis - Heavyweight-Boxing Champion
Piers Morgan - Tabloid Editor and "America's Got Talent" Judge
Tito Ortiz - Ultimate Fighting Champion
Gene Simmons - KISS Frontman/Asshole Extroadinaire
Vincent Pastore - Salvatore "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero on the Sopranos, amongst other roles

If anything stood out right away on this show, it was that the Men's team Hydra (Wasn't the Hydra female?) is about 100 times more famous than the Women's team Empresario (Spanish for Entrepeneur/Businessperson.) I mean, i'm talking A-list celebs like Simmons, Lewis, and Baldwin, against washed up actresses and Omarosa. Omarosa? A celebrity? The best part about this episode was simply watching this nobody Omarosa, who even failed miserably on her first Apprentice try, boss around people who don't give people like her a second thought while walking down the sidewalk.

This week's challenge was selling hotdogs on the street in NYC. Whoever sold more money in hot dogs won the challenge. Simple enough. Stephen Baldwin stepped up as PM (Project Manager) for Hydra. And Omarosa, eager to prove to Trump she's worth a damn, volunteered as PM for Empresario.

In previous seasons, this type of challenge would be all about location, location, location. And signage. And price points. And advertising, packaging, marketing, bundling, tie-ins, promotions, and any other business buzzword you can think of. A bunch of business nobody's would put their book smarts to the test and try to outsell each other on the streets of New York.

Not so this year. Trump suggested that the average price for a hot dog is about $1 at a New York hot dog cart. This team of rich celebrties started out thinking about things like location, marketing, and promotions. How could they sell the most hot dogs? Maybe raise the price to $5? Maybe we can wear flashy hats! In the greatest scene of the show (perhaps of all of the Apprentice) while this business school discussion was going on around him, Gene Simmons silently opens his cell phone and places a call that goes as follows: "Hello friend. Will you hop on a plane to New York tomorrow, and come buy an expensive hot dog for charity? $5,000? Great, thanks."

And just like that, the show changed. Celebs were calling all their other celeb friends, soliciting donations in the name of charity. They were charging $100 bucks for a hot dog, and a picture with the Playmate of the Year. (I might have paid that for a picture with Jenny Finch.) Rich New Yorkers were forking over the cash like it was monopoly money. Mayor Bloomberg showed up to buy a hot dog. Tito Ortiz's girlfriend Jenna Jameson showed up. Mets Third-basemen David Wright showed up and bought the whole cart for like $10,000.

In the end, with the help of Gene Simmons and the likes of Jenna Jameson, Lennox Lewis, Tito Ortiz, Baldwin, Bloomberg, and Big Pussy on the NY Streets and numerous $5,000 donations, the men wound up winning like $57,000 to $15,000 or something. A drubbing. (All the money goes to the winning PM's charity. A nice touch. Baldwin donated it to his mom's breast cancer charity. Said Trump to Baldwin: "I met your mom. I know her. She's a very nice woman." Thanks Trump.)

And so, the Celebrity Apprentice is in fact about being a celebrity. Not about selling hot dogs. It is about your contacts, and how rich they are. It is about who wants to take a picture with you, and how recognizable you are. In the end, Trump fired Playmate of the Year Tiffany Fallon for failing to call Hugh "The Hef" Hefner and solicit a donation. Apparently Hef is "a good friend" of Trump's and would have even donated "$100,000" according to the Trump. Because he's "a good friend." Gene Simmons makes this show worth watching, btw.

The worst part about this show is that Jenny Finch hardly got any airtime. I don't think she even opened her mouth all show. Sadness.

Things to Watch - Jan 4

2008-01-04T13:10:00.000-05:00

ABC - 10:00 - NEW 20/20
NBC - 8:00 - NEW 1 vs. 100 game show, a NEW Friday Night Lights, followed by a NEW Las Vegas

E! - 10:00 - NEW The Soup - Top 20 of the 2007 Clipdown
SciFi - 10:00 - NEW Stargate Atlantis
Discovery - 10:00 - NEW Fight Quest
TBS - 9:00 - My Big Fat Greek Wedding
TLC - 10:00 - Premiere Miss America Reality Check

HBO - 8:00 - TV Premiere of Children of Men - an amazing movie if you have not seen it.
HBO3 - 9:00 - TV Premiere of Flags of Our Fathers
Encore - 8:00 - TV Premiere of Cars

What i'm TiVo-ing:
I'll be recording Cars at 8, because I've never seen it. I'll also be recording The Soup at 10.

Things to Watch - Jan 3

2008-01-03T15:24:00.000-05:00

CBS - 8:00 - some Without a Trace and CSI reruns
ABC - 8:00 - Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives reruns
FOX - 8:00 - LIVE Orange Bowl: Kansas vs Virginia Tech
NBC - 8:00 - NEW Deal or No Deal followed by PREMIERE of Celebrity Apprentice followed by NEW ER
MTV - All Night - Run's House marathon with new episodes at 10
USA - All Night - Get your Law & Order SVU and CI fix
VH1 - All Night - America's Next Top Model
History - 9:00 NEW Gangland
TCM - 8:00 - Doctor Zhivago
Encore - 8:00 - Dances with Wolves

MSNBC - 9:00 - Find out who our next president will be when the Iowa Caucus decides for us!

What i'm TiVo-ing:
Tonight i'll be watching Celebrity Apprentice.

Project Runway - Eye Candy

2008-01-03T01:25:00.000-05:00

Let me tell you a secret. Don't tell anyone. I'm "coming out of the closet" with this one...

I watch Project Runway. And I love it.

Sure I may have to sit through the criticisms of friends and family every week, but this show is damn entertaining.

The show returned with a new episode this week after a short hiatus, and it felt like with this episode the season finally got started. The first couple episodes were good and solid as usual, but they haven't been great (or should I say, fabulous.) The challenges have been downright boring and unimaginative and the designers had little personality. This week had a creative challenge and we finally really got to see just how talented or untalented the designers really were.

This week had in-your-face product placement like woah. (I can't stand product placement, but as long as it keeps my TiVo service legal i'm ok with it. Gotta fight the commercial skippers. I'm reminded of when, on 30 Rock, Tina Fey just turned to the camera with like a mountain dew in her hand or something and asked if they could have their money now.) The contestants were taken into Hershey's Times Square ("The Sweetest place in New York!") and told they had to make their dress out of stuff in the store. As the contestants' faces screamed "Oh Shit" I said "oh yes" because I was thinking how the hell can they make a dress out of candy.

(SPOILERS follow)
They proved me wrong however (well, some of them. Others kept the "oh shit" look on their face the whole show) and wound up making some pretty awesome looking dresses. Christian immediately knew what he was making and pretty much had his dress made right there in the store and was done in like 10 minutes once back at the workroom and moved on to telling everyone else how shitty their dress looked in that way that gay men can apparently say anything they want and yet it still comes off as sweet and endearing to women. (He glued a bunch of those ubiquitous brown Reses' wrappers to a dress and it actually looked cool. I'll never look at a Reses' peanut butter cup the same way again.) Jillian was the only one to use actual food products as she whipped up a sexy Twizzler's-red corset and miniskirt things that the judges loved. Rami came out on top for the second time this season with this intricately made futuristic colorful vinyl/plastic/foil thing that was well made and creative. (See pic)

As for the losers, man. Give me Simon Cowell any day over these judges. They were sort of just total bitches tonight. "She could work at Dairy Queeeeeen!" I love when they make fun of the designers' clothes right in front of them. They called out Sweet-P's total lack of creativity and Elise's total lack of sanity. Elise was auf'd on the show for somehow managing to turn colorful candy wrappers into something that looked like a turd with bits of candy wrappers stuck in it. (Yet somehow she always seems happy with her hideous designs). PS: Heidi looked the hottest she has all season.

Things to Watch - Jan 2

2008-01-02T15:15:00.000-05:00

Lots of NEW programming on tonight as well as a few Premiers. With Winter Network schedules kicking in this week and next, there will be much more new programming despite the writer's strike. Also, Letterman, Leno, and O'Brien all return to the airwaves tonight with new late night talk shows!

CBS - 8:00 - NEW Premier Power of 10 - Drew Carey's game show
ABC - 8:00 - NEW Wife Swap followed by 2 hours of NEW Supernanny
FOX - 8:00 - LIVE - Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma vs West Virginia
NBC - 8:00 - NEW Deal or No Deal followed by the 2 hour season premier of NEW Law & Order
CW - 8:00 - NEW Crowned followed by a NEW Gossip Girl
MTV - 10:00 - NEW Real World followed by NEW Newport Harbor finale
Bravo - 10:00 - NEW Project Runway
History 10:00 - NEW MonsterQuest (I don't know much about this show, but it looks dumb).

And if you are luck enough to get it:
Sundance - 8:00 - 13 Tzameti - This is an awesome movie that I highly recommend.

Also:
CBS - 11:30 NEW Late Show with David Letterman - Actor Robin Williams and Shooter Jennings performs.
NBC - 11:30 NEW Tonight Show with Jay Leno - Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee
followed by a NEW Late Night with Conan O'Brien

What I'm TiVo-ing:
My DVR will be busy tonight starting at 8 recording Crowned and then Gossip Girl at 9. At 9, the duel tuner will be fired up to record the Law & Order premier. And at 10, I'll of course be watching the new Project Runway.

3:10 to Yuma

2008-01-01T21:47:00.000-05:00

As the saying goes, they don't make things like they used to. American cars, game shows, appliances.

That's sort of been the case with Hollywood Westerns. Not much in the last 40 years can compare with the classics like Shane, The Searchers, and Butch Cassidy. That said, at least, there hasn't been an 'old fashioned' Hollywood western as good as 3:10 To Yuma since Unforgiven back in '92.

That's not entirely fair to say however, as this year's version of 3:10 to Yuma is in fact a remake of the 1957 classic of the same name. This movie, from what I gather, stays pretty faithful to the original, right up to the rather odd ending.

The movie stars Christian Bale as Dan Evans, a strapped-for-cash down-on-his-luck rancher who manages to cross paths with badass outlaw Ben Wade, played absolutely brilliantly by Russell Crowe. In exchange for the reward money offered for his capture, Bale's character must help escort Ben Wade to the 3:10 train to the Yuma prison. (And now you know where the title comes from.)

Christian Bale has become quite adept at playing the weak, distraught, pitiful man (See: The Machinist, Rescue Dawn), and he plays it well here in a solid performance. The movie, in what would have been a fairly average shoot-em-up gunfight western, is taken to a much higher level by the mesmerizing performance of Crowe.

I used to hate Russell Crowe - at least his off-screen personality. I still sort of do, but with every role he takes on, his on-screen acting genius is further revealed. Think about it, has he turned in a bad performance in recent memory? I mean, not only is he good, he's versatile. A detective, an outlaw, a boxer, a naval commander, a genius, and a gladiator.

And, as with his other movies, he takes over 3:10 to Yuma. This movie is about him. For all the action in this movie (and there is a lot), the most memorable scenes are those between Crowe and Bale, playing off each others stone cold cynicism. Crowe plays the bad guy so well that by the end of the movie, we find ourselves rather confused about our feelings toward him. And the rather unexpected ending just adds to that confusion.

For all the strong acting and great cinematography (this is a great looking movie), the plot sort of fell apart for me at the end. Not to spoil anything, but the final climactic scene is a prolonged shootout a-la James Bond films where characters dodge thousands of bullets and should have died 10 times over. The worst part is that the whole scene is really rather pointless anyway, unless you buy into the "emotional" necessity of it (spoiler: a father "proving himself" to his son.) And in the very final scene, a main character does something so unexpected that it almost seems to go against the logic of the entire film, unless I just misread something along the way. The ending may not sit well with some, and in a few days time or after another viewing it might make sense, but for me it was flawed.

3:10 to Yuma is still very entertaining and even thought provoking, which is rare for a western. Russell Crowe's creation of a Wild West Outlaw alone is worth the viewing.

"3:10 to Yuma" at Rotten Tomoatoes - 88%
"3:10 to Yuma" at IMDB

Things To Watch - Jan 1

2008-01-01T13:11:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year everyone. Hopefully this new year will bring us a resolution of the writer's strike, and we can get some new episodes up on this guide!

NBC - 1:00 - LIVE NHL Winter Classic - Pittsburgh Penguins at Buffalo Sabres - this is the first outdoor NHL Hockey game in the US, and it will be awesome.
NBC - 8:00 - NEW The Biggest Loser
ABC - 5:00 - LIVE College Football: Rose Bowl: Illinois vs USC
TBS - 8:00 - Two hours of Family Guy followed by an hour of The Office

SCIFI - ALL DAY - Twilight Zone Marathon
DISC - ALL DAY - Dirty Jobs marathon
TNT - ALL DAY - Law & Order marathon
MTV - ALL DAY - Super Sweet 16 marathon
SPIKE - 6:30 Kill Bill: Vol 1 & 2
HBO - 8:00 Superman Returns
RetroPlex - 8:00 - The Deer Hunter
E-ACT - 7:40 - Terminator 2: Judgement Day - best movie ever.

What I'm TiVo-ing:
Tonight I think i will be watching The Deer Hunter, or Family Guy episodes.

Death at a Funeral

2007-12-31T13:07:00.000-05:00

If anyone knows how to make death and funerals funny, its the English.

Death at a Funeral is an English black comedy, directed by Frank Oz, about well, a funeral.

The thing about English humor is that it is either so understated that its easy to miss, or it is so over-the-top that it becomes slapstick or farcical. Death at a Funeral opts for the latter.

Basically, the movie is about a family that gathers together for a funeral. The family is full of absurd characters with every sort of personality flaw. Throw in a skin rash, some hallucinogenic drugs, a gay midget, and nudity, and in typical English style, things wildly spiral out of control as every possible thing that could go wrong, does. This is another one of those movies that draws on awkwardness, embarassment, and inappropriateness of all sorts, as we find ourself laughing at things we're not sure we should be laughing at. (Beware of a rather surprising fecal matter gag that comes out of nowhere.)

That being said, while the humor is silly at (most) times, it is still smartly done and cleverly paced. There are great laughs scattered throughout the whole short running time, and its all very entertaining. With a running time of only about 1 hour and 15 minutes, you don't have to invest a lot in this movie to enjoy it. Overall, a slightly above average comedy, that, because of English tone and delivery, succeeds more than probably any American attempt at the same type of humor.

"Death at a Funeral" at Rotten Tomatoes - 62%
"Death at a Funeral" at IMDB

Things to Watch - Dec 31

2007-12-31T12:49:00.000-05:00

Not that anyone watches TV on New Year's Eve anyway, but I've poured over my on-screen guide so you don't have to:

ABC - 8:00 - Shrek 2
Fox - 8:00 - Men in Black II
NBC - 8:00 - Saturday Night Live in the '90's: Pop Culture Nation
ESPN - 7:30 - LIVE College Football Chick-Fil-A Bowl: Auburn vs Clemson

TNT - ALL DAY - Law & Order marathon
USA - ALL DAY - Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon
SciFi - ALL DAY - The Twilight Zone marathon (For the next 48 hours)
Discovery - ALL DAY - Mythbusters marathon
VH1 - ALL DAY - I Love New York marathon
Travel - ALL DAY - Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations marathon
MTV - ALL DAY - A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila marathon
HBO - 7:00 - Entourage Marathon

Also, during your midnight countdowns, all network channels will have some sort of countdown show so you can watch some ball drop. ABC has the original Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve starting at 10. A new option however, starting at 11 MTV has Tila Tequila's New Year's Eve Masquerade Ball 2008. Should be fun.

What I'm TiVo-ing:
At 8 i'll be recording Saturday Night Live in the '90's: Pop Culture Nation. It looks interesting.

Dreamgirls

2007-12-30T23:46:00.000-05:00

I guess i'm in a musical mood or something, with my last review of Once and now Dreamgirls, which is odd seeing as how its the genre I try to stay away from the most. But flipping through the channels this afternoon, Dreamgirls was on, and I had heard it was good or something, so I watched it.

Dreamgirls came out a year ago, so i'm a little late to the show, but remember the point of this blog is to just tell you about whatever I happen to watch, not just shiny new stuff. Basically, Dreamgirls the movie is based off of Dreamgirls the successful broadway musical of the 80's. As fair warning, i've never been a huge fan of Broadway, Broadway Musicals, or Hollywood film adaptations of Broadway Musicals, so this movie kind of had three strikes against going into it.

Dreamgirls tells the story of R&B during the doo-wop era and onward, and follows the story of the Dreamettes-turned-Dreams, a Supremes-like trio of Effie White (Jennifer Hudson), Deena Jones (Beyoncé), and Lorrell Robinson (Anika Noni rose) and their quick rise to fame on the Billboard Charts. Like all good episodes of VH1's Behind the Music, Dreamgirls soon shows us that fame has a price in "Act II" of the movie, but leaves us with a uplifting final note.

In contrast to the touching simplicity and stripped down musical arrangements of Once, Dreamgirls boasts elaborate musical numbers and stage performances, in what I can only imagine stays faithful to the spirit of Motown and a broadway production. However in keeping with that spirit, the musical elements of this "musical" are not merely contained to the on stage performances, but rather characters sometimes break into spontaneous recitative song. I have to say, there is nothing I hate more than when characters speak to each other in song and dance out their feelings (thus my dislike of musicals and broadway.) So really, for me, that is where this movie went a little off. I would have enjoyed it much more had the singing been kept just for actual performances.

That being said though, the musical numbers are well produced and performed, and enjoyable. Jennifer Hudson, in keeping with the theme of those NOT winning American Idol being more successful than those that do, is awesome in this, both in voice and in acting. (She of course won the oscar for supporting actress.)

However I thought the movie as a whole had little substance outside of the musical performances, and relied too heavily on great singing to get by. For such a very talented cast, great individual performances failed to connect into a cohesive achievement. Like I said, it was like rushing through a musical version of VH1's Behind the Music, pulling clichéd elements of all the other music biopics out there (Foxx's Ray for one). The movie started out on all cylinders, and kept it going without a rest for the entire two hours - and that isn't a good thing. It didn't stop to take a much needed breath.

Watch it for the music, and to look at Beyoncé - but don't expect much of substance out of it.

"Dreamgirls" at Rotten Tomatoes - 78%
"Dreamgirls" at IMDB

Things to Watch - Dec 30

2007-12-30T13:52:00.000-05:00

I've poured over my on-screen guide so you don't have to:

CBS - 8:00 - NEW The Amazing Race
ABC - 7:00 - 4 hours of the classic movie: The Sound of Music
NBC - 8:00 - LIVE NFL Football: Titans at Colts - Titans are in the playoffs with a win
ESPN - 8:00 - LIVE College Football - Independence Bowl: Alabama vs Colorado

Marathons galore:
Discovery - ALL DAY - Deadliest Catch marathon
USA Network - ALL DAY - Law & Order: SVU marathon
ESPN2 - ALL DAY - 2007 World Series of Poker marathon
VH1 - ALL DAY - Flavor of Love marathon

Sunday Night Movies
A&E - 10:00 - Jesus Camp (This is a must see)
TBS - 7:30 - The Bourne Supremacy followed by Misison: Impossible 2
TNT - 8:00 - What Women Want
SciFi - 9:00 - Star Trek: First Contact
FX - 8:00 - The Italian Job

Premium Picks
VH1Classic - 8:00 - High Fidelity
EncoreDrama - 8:00 - Carlito's Way
Retroplex - 8:00 - Slap Shot
Flix - 8:00 - Fargo
HBO2 - 9:15 - Music and Lyrics

What i'm TiVo-ing:
At 7 I will be recording The Sound of Music. (I've never seen it.) Fast forwarding through commercials in a 4 hour broadcast is a must.
At 8 I will be watching the Amazing Race live and then switching over to the Football game to hopefully watch the Titans lose so the Browns can make the playoffs.
At 10 I will be recording Jesus Camp so that I can make everyone I know watch it.

Once

2007-12-29T18:27:00.000-05:00

Is it possible to fall in love with a movie? I think I did.

Every now and then a movie comes along that hits you in exactly the right spot, providing you with that feeling you need most, when you need it most. Some movies genuinely effect you. "Once" was that movie for me. (In fact, I had wanted to start this blog for a while, but seeing this movie finally convinced me to go ahead and do it, just so I could tell you about Once.)

Once is one of those movies that reminds you of everything that is good and right about cinema, and why movies are made in the first place. It reminds you of the power of the medium - stripped of special effects, in-your-face promotion, hollywood stars, and orchestral scores - leaving only the very simple story of two people, and the music they play.

As a self-proclaimed Anglophile (or as with this Irish film - an Hibernophile), I try to pay attention to many things going on in Britain these days. "Once" is just one of the many exceptional films to come out of the Isles this year (Control, This Is England, Atonement, Eastern Promises), but I believe that it is definitely the best. Hell, it is probably the best film to come out of any country this year. (Juno had held that distinction for me until now, but Once is just flawless.)

The film takes place in Dublin. The plot couldn't be simpler: Girl meets Guy. Guy plays music. Girl also plays music. Guy and Girl play music together. Guy and Girl fall in love. In fact, the two unnamed main characters are simply credited as "Guy" and "Girl".

"Guy" is played by the very talented Glen Hansard. Hansard comes to this movie with no acting experience, but he is the front man of a very popular Irish rock band called "The Frames." (The Frames' ex-bassist John Carney directs.) "Girl" is played by Czech-born musician Markéta Irglová, who, as Roger Ebert mentions, "has the kind of smile that makes a man want to be a better person, so he can deserve being smiled at." Hansard and Irglová compose and perform all of the music in the film.

Shot in 17 days for just $160,000 (and earning almost $14 million to date), Once is the story of a broken-hearted vacuum repair man (Hansard) who also tries to get by as a busker (street performer). He meets an immigrant girl (Irglová) whose job is to sell flowers on the street. Upon learning she also plays music (the piano), they duck into a music shop where the owner lets them play together in what stands out as the most powerful and charming scene of the movie. I won't ruin any of the magic that unfolds in the rest of this movie, but what is interesting to note is that during filming, Irglová and Hansard quickly developed an on-set relationship, and are still seeing each other to this day. Thus, what unfolds on the screen between them is genuine chemistry, and combined with low production values and intimate style of shooting, we quickly begin to feel as if we are not watching two people acting, but rather are given a privileged view into two real people as they fall in love.

The ending (guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and a lump to your throat - unless you are incapable of emotion) is indicative of just how flawless a movie this is.

This year, you can have your Hairsprays and Sweeny Todds. Take your Oscar buzz, hollywood propaganda machine, and your Golden Globe nominations and shove them. Although Once was shockingly snubbed for any Golden Globe nominations, you don't need critics, fixed awards shows, or even me to tell you this is a good movie. You just need to see it for yourself.

Once was released on DVD December 17.

"Once" at Rotten Tomatoes - 98%
"Once" at IMDB
Official "Once" Trailer